S11E25 - Four Camels and a Funeral

At Lady Samira’s house, Paquito finds a way to mix pleasure with business. It is his first time with a woman, but four hours of passionate lovemaking do not distract him from the team’s interests, and he learns a few useful things: Lady Baya has been sending expeditions near the dwarven stronghold of Khargrim, while Lady Marrowhammer has been sending hers south of the Oasis of Betesda. The white elves camp near the Oasis of Zurk, and the cannibal halflings fear whistling on windless nights.

Nemo, meanwhile, heads back to the Fragile Cobra Inn, locates the room where his parents are staying, and climbs up to eavesdrop outside it. He discovers that they are planning an expedition of their own to a ruined city in search of riches. His mother doubts the expedition is worth the danger, but his father insists the information is reliable. They have brought Eisoh, the dragonborn, and three helpers. They leave in a week with the same caravan the heroes have declined to wait for. Worried for their safety but unable to intervene, Nemo returns to the crypt. On his way back, he sees young people painted to resemble Soto, retelling tales of his street fights. He also hears that Lord Sengo’s guards have taken over the waterworks and have uncovered a fortune from looting Yaggira’s dungeon.

The next morning, Paquito and the rest of the party get together near the city’s south gate as agreed. There they meet Hjalmus’s guards who hand them the four camels, Marlboro, Chesterfield, Winston, and Lucky Strike, each with a different personality. They also meet Krys and the rest of the Ponderous Ram knights who have also packed and are ready to head into the desert. The party gets a bit noisy and attracts the attention of two city guards. As the guards approach, Nemo casts minor illusion, making a woman’s voice cry “Help, guards!” from a nearby window. The diversion only draws more attention from the guards and from the deva still circling overhead.

The heroes hurriedly explain the situation to Krys and his knights. They have no camels and look woefully unprepared, but agree to meet our heroes outside the gates.

Before the heroes can sprint away, Iron-Skin and several fighters from the previous night arrive in fine new clothes. They toss Soto a leather pouch of coins, chant “Soto, Soto, Soto! We have your back!”, and step between the heroes and the guards. The heroes jump on their camels and sprint towards the gate. The guards at the gate start lowering the portcullis, but the heroes arrive first and leave the city, with the deva flying right behind them.

The deva attacks Lyra, who is at the rear, but misses. The heroes return fire until Lyra persuades the deva to stop: the party are the victims here, she argues. The deva reconsiders and turns back towards the city to investigate. One of the knights, unaware that the fight is over, shoots him in the ass and Nemo screams “Sorry!” at the pissed-off deva, cooling down the situation.

The heroes wait for the knights to catch up with them, then head into the desert together. After watching the encounter with the deva and with the turmoil inside the city due to Lord Boq’s execution the previous day, the city guards have little appetite for a pursuit into the scorching sands.

The expanded party continues into the desert. On the first day, the knights strip off their white shirts because sweating is indecorous, but keep their leather trousers. Severe sunburn follows a few hours later. At Ike’s suggestion, they try soothing it in seawater. After some screaming, they decide they will keep their shirts on from now on.

For four days, the party travels at night and camps from around 11am to 7pm. Lyra and Nemo question Cedric, Krys, and the other knights about deserts and worms. Their answers raise a question, specially when Lyra learns that most of what Cedric, the researcher knight, has learned comes from a book about magic carpets and a guy named Aladdin: how have these men made it so far from their kingdom with so much confidence and so little sense? During the second day, they find a worm tunnel. They consider attracting a worm’s attention, but soon drop the idea.

By the fourth day, the heroes are reconsidering their plans. With no camels for the knights, everyone must travel at walking pace. During a long rest, the knights discover another worm tunnel. Again the heroes debate attracting a purple worm. Again they decide against it.

Then comes a low rumble. The knights have made their own decision and are jumping in the tunnel to attract a worm. Ike scrambles up a nearby protected cliff, followed by the rest of the party. Sensing what’s coming, the camels discover a sudden talent for climbing like goats. Nemo casts speak with animals to ask them to stay completely still, but the camels need little convincing.

A few minutes later, the excited knights call for their friends to help. From a safe distance, the heroes assure them they will be providing artillery support.

Fatally confident, the knights brace for the charge. The ground convulses as the worm erupts from the tunnel, three metres wide and thirty-five metres long. It swoops through the sand at full speed, swallows the screaming knights, then coils in search of more food with its tremorsense before retreating into the same hole. In less than a minute, the desert falls silent. The heroes stare in horror.

Paquito is confused about the morality of not helping the knights, but the party convinces him that if you live to see another day, that’s another day you can do good. Lyra then offers a few words in the knights’ memory. Sad but also relieved, the party resumes its rest.

During that rest, a vision comes to Lyra. Gray sits beside her at a fire in the night, his head hooded, his hands skeletal. He needs her help.

He is trying to free Tiamat, but he’s made a mistake that has drawn Asmodeus’s attention. He asks her to go to the Nine Hells to distract the lord of hell while he frees the goddess of chromatic dragons. The Unseen Maw has located the Wyrmspine and Tiamat is their only hope of stopping them. Gray also reveals that the soul inside Nemo is no sister of Tiamat, whose only sibling is her brother, Bahamuth. She is a lilitu, a powerful succubus in Graz’zt’s service. Why Asmodeus takes such an interest in her, Gray cannot say.

The vision fades, and the session ends.